From the first moment that I awake and step from my bedroom space to the kitchen space to start the morning coffee…

At the last moment of the day, as I move to the bedroom to make my rest…

Every movement in between.

Watching, waiting, needing.

It’s hard not to be resentful.

I say to those around me – I’m breaking.

They respond – me too.

I don’t know how not to be resentful, when I’ve always done what I can when others were breaking.

Roles were cast at the workplace to assist with the overwhelm – and then they were removed.

This too will break me.  I don’t know how not to resent that.

The shards will fall.

They will scatter.

I imagine that I will find the glue to reattach the pieces.  Perhaps I will be stronger then.

There is a reason that YHVH created Shabbat.  One day again I will find rest.  For now, and since May, not a single day of rest has been found.

I imagine myself with no resentment.  But until rest comes, I am breaking.  And I resent that.