From the first moment that I awake and step from my bedroom space to the kitchen space to start the morning coffee…
At the last moment of the day, as I move to the bedroom to make my rest…
Every movement in between.
Watching, waiting, needing.
It’s hard not to be resentful.
I say to those around me – I’m breaking.
They respond – me too.
I don’t know how not to be resentful, when I’ve always done what I can when others were breaking.
Roles were cast at the workplace to assist with the overwhelm – and then they were removed.
This too will break me. I don’t know how not to resent that.
The shards will fall.
They will scatter.
I imagine that I will find the glue to reattach the pieces. Perhaps I will be stronger then.
There is a reason that YHVH created Shabbat. One day again I will find rest. For now, and since May, not a single day of rest has been found.
I imagine myself with no resentment. But until rest comes, I am breaking. And I resent that.